• Jack Wells

Book Review - Tuesday Apocalypse by Vicy Cros

Updated: May 9, 2018

Perverted Lovecraftian horrors seducing hapless men & women across a WWII ravaged English countryside.

Nun-themed tentacle erotica set in England during the dark days of World War II...yup, my goal of getting out of my usual genre comfort zone is off to a BANGING start!

To be fair, I didn't know just how graphic this story was going to be going in. I was torn between reading all the reviews on Goodreads in detail, or just skimming them enough to get a gist. I eventually opted for the latter, as I find I enjoy books more when I go into them without much prior knowledge or bias. What I did know was that this was a Cthulhu inspired horror tale with some sexy bits thrown in. And hey, I'm a huge Lovecraft and Cthulhu lover, and who doesn't like sexy bits!? And yeah, at a macro level, that is exactly what I got with Tuesday Apocalypse. However, this is very much erotica, and quite explicit erotica at that. Vanilla this is not, as it includes hetero sex, lesbian sex, group sex, anal sex, and all sorts of tentacle penetration. Some of it is willing, some of it is forced-consent, and all of it is written in detail. So if any of that doesn't sound like your cup of tea, you'd best steer clear of this one. And while tentacle erotica wasn't my thing before I started this book, and still isn't my thing after finishing it, I can at least admit that this is, without a doubt, very well done tentacle erotica. And it IS sexy. Uncomfortably sexy, but sexy nonetheless.

Tuesday Apocalypse is written in an epistolary format, much like Dracula or World War Z. Since we only get one POV main character (aside from one small chapter), this comes in the form of journal entries made by Sister Barbara, a Catholic nun and volunteer nurse. At first, the epistolary format seemed an odd choice, but it mostly works well, perhaps given that the story is set more than 70 years ago. It definitely helps sell the time period. I would imagine that tales taking place in current times would be harder to pull off this way. That's not to say it works perfectly. Given all that is taking place in the clinic/church where Sister Barbara and other survivors have holed up, and that there's some SERIOUSLY freaky shit going on, it's hard to believe that she would have the time/energy/inclination to be doing all this journaling. Kind of like in found-footage films, where the person holding the camera somehow keeps filming during all sorts of horror/sci-fi/action shenanigans. But, this is erotica after all, so I'll shut up and go with it. Ironically enough, this is not the first Cthulhu inspired tale written in an epistolary format that I've read. Mrs. Cherie Priest wrote some amazing novels called Maplecroft and Chapelwood, which were an effective mashup of Cthulhu and Lizzie Borden stories, also told through journal entries and the like. However, those tentacle monsters were only angry and evil, not horny like the ones here. But I digress...

Sister Barbara is a competent narrator, detailing and commenting on the strange events taking place around her, while also giving us insights into who she is and some events that shaped her life. She's a brave soul in the face of this supernatural/erotic epidemic, even though she sees herself as a coward. She's easy to root for as a heroine, even if she occasionally has some face-palm moments. Because, for all that she carried the story well and was a worthy protagonist, she's kind of a dumbass sometimes. I don't think I've ever read a book with a main character who is quite this adept at self-deception. She sees some amazingly naughty and freaky things, proceeds to write about them in detail, and then a few sentences later doubts what she saw, or dismisses it outright. Groan. Still, I wanted her to triumph, even when I shook my head at her occasional ditzy moments.

As for the story itself, the WWII setting is a perfect fit for the Cthulhu-inspired creatures and horror populating the novel. The atmosphere is oppressive and bleak, with atrocity already running rampant across England long before we get to the horny tentacle monsters. These creatures themselves are wisely kept in reserve for most of the book, however, which increases the impact when they are fully revealed. There really are no punches pulled in this tale. People die in horrific and gruesome ways, often without warning. I like gruesome as much as the next guy, and Tuesday Apocalypse certainly doesn't skimp. The fraying of sanity (cue Metallica) is also on full display here, as the frail human psyches of Sister Barbara and the other survivors, already in shock from the effects of war, simply can't handle the physiological and psychological assaults taking place all around them.

So far, so good (mostly), right? Right. But...there were some parts of the book that did vex me. First, I'm pretty sure the word "ugh" has only appeared in the written English vernacular in the past decade or so. It was rather distracting to get a few paragraphs of various descriptions, and then to have an "Ugh!" thrown in there. All of a sudden it was like I was reading a text message.

Babs - Ugh! This clinic is the worst! Rob - What's up girl? Babs - just Joyce being the slut she always is. U know how she does Rob - Totes Babs - I think she left a slimy sex toy in my room! Ewwww! Rob - WTF!? Babs - I def need to get outta here, but I can't leave the patients Rob - we should def run away together Babs - smh we've already talked about this Rob - Ugh!

So yeah, like that. Also, there are some passages written that just make no sense at all, or were so frustratingly contradictory that it annoyed the hell out of me. And I have a lot of hell IN me, so to annoy it OUT of me takes effort. There's one part, in particular, that goes a little something like this:

"I do not know if what I saw was real...it was so dark, and I only caught a glimpse..."

Let me put it in context. She writes this little ditty at the end of an entire CHAPTER'S worth of a journal entry about watching two people go from a makeout session, to foreplay, to heavy oral sex, to the end of the oral sex, and the eventual departure of the couple. Oh, and she gets herself off while watching this encounter. And she calls it a glimpse? She's not sure what she saw? She came across a couple enjoying their naughty bits, pulled up her habit and MASTURBATED while watching them, and then after writing about it in graphic detail she's not sure she even saw it? Ugh! (see what I did there!?)

Anyways, enough high-horsing and soapboxing. This is a tale primarily designed to arouse, and also to scare, and I think it accomplishes those goals quite well. So I guess I can consider myself scaroused (I should trademark or patent that!). If this sounds like it's something that you'd enjoy, then I encourage you to find this book and check it out!

3 out of 5 dirty & perverted stars!

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